Are there any “rules” about how long two people should date before deciding on marriage?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 20,108
    Relationship expert Toni Coleman provides some points to consider about your relationship before deciding to get married.

    Toni Coleman: Hi! I am Toni Coleman and I am a dating and relationship coach and now we are going talk about, how to know if you are really ready for marriage?

    Host: Are there any rules about how long two people should date before deciding on marriage. Toni Coleman: There are really aren't any rules. There are sort of ways of thinking within different cultures about, how long you should date someone, how long you should be engaged, what is really appropriate in terms of, how well you should know each other and how much you should know about each other, before you that big step? I think it really depends and varies from couple to couple on how fast this relationship goes. How much time you spent together, where you are at with your life and develop mentally where people are at, how much experience they have had, how season they are, how much they really know about relationships? So there are lot of variables that come into play.

    We have what we call stages in a relationship and the first stage is that before getting to know each other where you are not really dealing with serious issues. Some people can move through the first stage in a matter of weeks. Other people it's three months five months depending upon the couple. So it's really more when you have moved into these stages where you are talking about the more difficult issues. You are opening yourselves up with intimacy and really sharing. You are negotiating hard stuff. You are okay that disagree with other person and to show those sides your thinking and when you have really moved into those stages and you really hit some of the hard stuff and dealt with that pretty well, and learned how to be together in that way and worked on your communication. Then you are at a good place to be thinking about the next step or a more serious stuff.