Dating Tips – Common Challenges that Shy Singles Face

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 18,248
    Dating Expert Marya Choby discusses common challenges that shy singles face.

    Marya Choby: Hi! I'm Marya Choby and I'm a dating coach. I'm sharing dating strategies for shy and introverted singles. Right now I'm going to talk about common dating challenges. Shy and introverted singles often bristle at the idea of flirting. It's not seen as fun and it makes you want to run and hide. Smiling and making eye contact at an attractive stranger feels like baring your soul to the world. Generally we don't like to make small talk preferring to stay to ourselves. Meeting new people to date and asking to someone out is very hard. Brain freeze is also common. When introvert take in stimulation, it travels a longer pathway in the brain to be processed in the long term memory. This leads to problem of finding words and slower thinking.

    When under stress, Acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter slowly dries up affecting memory and energy. Not being able to find the words you want makes you doubt your ability to make witty and interesting conversation. Introverts have a very rich inner life, there is lots going on intellectually and emotionally, but we often stop ourselves from sharing too much. Nervous and stress can lead us to have trouble recalling specifics, and we may censor what we share for fear of the other person won't understand.

    People who are shy or introverted beat themselves up a lot and have an active inner critic. You analyze every word you said on a date worrying you offended the other person or sounded dumb. This inner critic can make us nescience that the other person is interested, and we talk ourselves out of taking the initiative thinking he doesn't want to talk me. Introverts often believe that singles want someone with high energy, that's the life of the party, that's not necessarily true. There are just as many people out there that want someone with your calming, smooth, mellow energy.

    I share this information with you, so you know why self care and quiet time is so important. Introverts can do great with dating when they understand their unique needs and get out of quick rest which replenishes the Acetylcholine. You get to choose what you put your energy into. If you want to find love, prioritize building the energy reserves for dating. So those were some challenges with dating that shy and introverted singles may face. Now let's talk about flirting.