Dating Tips – Flirting for Shy Singles

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 20,933
    Dating Expert Marya Choby discusses flirty for shy singles.

    Marya Choby: Hi! I'm Marya Choby and I'm a dating coach. I'm sharing dating strategies for shy and introverted singles. Right now I'm going to talk about flirting. Flirting is three things, smiling, making eye contact, and chatting. Flirting is supposed to be a fun, light-hearted exchange, but for shy singles smiling at someone you're attracted to feels like jumping off a high dive into a pool without water. The word flirting can be so loaded for introverts and shy people, that I give you the permission to just kick it out of your vocabulary. Instead I want you to focus on making a connection with the people around you. Keep a small smile on your face as you go about your day, make eye contact and smile at strangers, talk with them. When you make it a habit to have light-hearted exchanges throughout your day, there is less of a deer in headlights moment when you run into an attractive stranger. You're already in the mood to flirt. Shy and introverted singles are very worried about what to say when flirting and small talk feels tedious. I encourage you to practice chatting with anyone and everyone. The more you practice, the more it will be come a habit. Talk with the checker at the grocery store, and with people in the line around you. Talk about what's going on in your immediate environment. Ask a question like, do you know where the bread aisle is? Whatever you say isn't as important as speaking up. But there is one caveat, make sure to keep your comments positive. Some people are very introverted and others only slightly. Making eye contact and smiling at strangers maybe a really big stretch, and tire you out if you're very introverted. So you will have to pace yourself. Your energy will also vary based on how much downtime that you've had. You'll have days where you can easily connect with a people around you, and others where you want to be left alone. On those days you will probably need to spend more time home alone before going out. Learn about what you can't do and balance it with quiet time to recharge. If you're planning to go to a social event on Saturday night, deliberately keep a light social calendar during the day and week, so you will have more energy for flirting. Also, there may be certain times of day or activities like exercise, that give you more energy for flirting. So those are some strategies to get comfortable with flirting. Now let's talk about meeting people to date.