How do you know if your child is a bully?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 11,340
    Dr. Ted Feinberg of the National Association of School Psychologists lists signs that your child may be a bully.

    Ted Feinberg

    Dr. Feinberg has over 30 years of broad-based human services experience in the mental health field. He has extensive background in consultation and counseling with children, adolescents, adults and families. He has worked in both the public and private sectors. In August 2000, Dr. Feinberg assumed his current position as Assistant Executive Director for Professional Development for the National Association of School Psychologists. His new responsibilities include program development, oversight of advocacy, government and public relations, public policy initiatives, interagency networking as well as professional standards and ethics. Dr. Feinberg has also co-authored two chapters for a Best Practices book on crisis intervention in the schools, book chapters and numerous articles for the NASP Communiqué. Dr. Feinberg was one of the six members of the core workgroup who developed the nationally recognized PREPaRE crisis prevention and intervention training curriculum. Dr. Feinberg has been the Director of Albany Counseling and Crisis Intervention Services and the Senior School Psychologist for the North Colonie Schools near Albany, N.Y. He has been a member of the Graduate School faculties at Russell Sage College, University of New York at Albany, the University of Maryland and George Mason University. Dr. Feinberg completed his doctoral and postdoctoral training at the University of New York at Albany. In October 1995, the New York State Association of School Psychologists selected Dr. Feinberg as Practicioner of the Year. Dr. Feinberg completed his second trip to Panama where he assisted the United States Department of Defense with their reduction in force efforts. He was one of the founding members and Chairman for the NASP National Emergency Assistance team and has volunteered his time to do crisis intervention training and disaster mental health work for the American Red Cross and the National Organization for Victim Assistance. Dr. Feinberg was the team leader for NEAT/NOVA in Spotsylvania, Virginia where three adolescent girls from the community were abducted, molested and murdered. In April 1999, he was invited to Littleton, Colorado after the worst school shooting tragedy in US history to consult with school and community members impacted by the horrific event. Dr. Feinberg was the keynote speaker for the New York State Governors’ Conference on the Prevention of School Violence on March 5, 1999. He was also appointed to then Governor Pataki’s New York State Blue Ribbon Task Force on School Violence.

    Speaker: How do you know if your child is a bully?

    Dr. Ted Feinberg: Bullying behavior may show itself in a number of different ways. You may see that behavior in terms of the ways, in which your child interacts with his or her peer group. You may see that behavior in terms of the way the child interacts with their siblings.

    You may see your children coming home with material goods or money that you know you didnt buy for them or gifted them. Where did they come from? Certainly you may get reports from neighbors, friends, and school people that your child is engaging in this type of situation.

    We often encourage the parents victims of bullying to be in contact with the parents of other bully. To try to solicit help and support to get their child to stop doing what they are doing to your kid. Sometime that works, sometime it does not work and the parents of the bullying child is just as much blame for this type of behavior as bully himself.

    In many ways the bully learned some of these behaviors from an inappropriate parenting and violence that they see in the home. So if that fails, if contact with the parents of bully fails, then it may require you to be in contact with the school to solicit there help and in some cases, it may require you to contact law enforcement agencies, if this behavior continues and your child is at risk for physical, and bodily harmed.