If sex wasn’t goal oriented, what would it be like?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 8,422
    Relationship expert Chris Wright talks about what would it be like if sex wasn’t goal oriented.

    Chris Wright

    Chris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.  He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from all over the world.  He also has over 35 years of experience as a trainer and workshop leader in human and organizational development across the U.S. and Canada.   Chris was founder and director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston, Texas.  He was also the Director of PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple’s skills programs.     As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships -- for couples and in the workplace.  He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.

    Host: If sex was not goal oriented, what would it be like?

    Chris Wright: If sex was not goal orientated, it would be completely different; it would be a whole different experience. Remember, what we are looking to do here, is learn how to open up to, particularly for the man, how do attune to these more vulnerable loving energies, how to unleash this much more powerful, more accelerating, more intimate, more fulfilling energies of pleasure in the experience and that requires being fully present with your partner, with full awareness able to absorb each moment as it unfolds innocently together. Any pressures would get in the way of that, any needs would get in the way of that, any turn-offs would completely overshadow that, any turn-ons would get in the way of that, of that innocence together.

    Let me give you an example that would illustrate this, this say this lovemaking is connected more to the heart, more to the feminine energies inside. Dear Abby was a syndicated columnist back in the seventies and the eighties, a news paper columnist, who was very, very popular and people, couples, women would write in with questions and she would respond to them. At one point she asked her married women to respond, she asked them, to the married women, What would you prefer? Would you prefer to have sexual intercourse, or would you prefer just to cuddle? and what do you think the responses was?

    80% of the women responded that they would prefer to cuddle than to have sexual intercourse. Well, I think if we are with a group of men right now and as men we are talking together, I think we would be amazed by that, how could 80% prefer just to be held and cuddled rather than have sex? It s just unfavorable to most men, how could that be seen as more pleasurable than having sexual intercourse? So that is what we are up against here.