What if there are kids involved in the break up?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 11,228
    Adrian Ashman what shoild we do if there are kids involved during a Breakup.

    Adrian Ashman

    Adrian Ashman is currently Professor of Education and a former Head of School at the University of Queensland in Brisbane, Australia. He was trained in the 1970s as a psychologist at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia, and the University of Alberta, Edmonton, Canada and was elected as a Fellow of the American Psychological Association in 1991. He has operated private psychology practices in Canada and in Australia dealing primarily with adult clients with personal relationship and sexual performance difficulties.

    Adrian has also worked as an educational psychologist and university researcher in the fields of special education and disability since the late-1970s and has consulted with a number of government departments including Education, Community Services and Health, and Employment, Vocational Education, Training and Industrial Relations. Professor Ashman is a trained mediator and has many years experience in conflict resolution.

    Adrian is a keen recreational cyclist and walker, misses flying and sailing, and is very attached to his olive farm to which he and his partner retreat at every possible opportunity.

    Host: What if there are kids involved in the breakup? Adrian Ashman: If there are kids involved, it's a slightly different ball park, but it's not too different. Most important things in my view with kids is to ensure you don t trash the other partner because that other partner is the father or mother of the kids that share both your gene pools. If you trash the other person, then essentially, what you are saying is that relationship that I had with that other person, with your father or your mother, I have realized he is a waste and you are part of that. So, sometimes when kids see themselves -- the role of being; the blame for the relationship and that is really sad. You got to get good financial advice and you have got to get good legal advice. Good legal advice these days from most good family lawyers is, they have got to try and settle it, they have got to settle up amicably and most family courts these days in most places in the world, look at the dual responsibility for the breakdown in a relationship. They will usually look at trying to split the assets of the marriage pretty close to fifty-fifty. It's not always that way but that s what they are looking at. Everyone is responsible, so you have got to bear the price.