What if you speak the same language, were both born and raised in the same country but are different races?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 9,881
    Founder of Perfect Partners Gloria McDonald explains how individuals of different races may face challenges in a relationship.
    Host: What if you speak the same language, were both born and raised in the same country but are different races? Gloria MacDonald: So, here is another situation. We have got a couple, they are both born and raised in North America, say Canada, the U.S. whatever, but they are from different races. So this might be an example of one is a Caucasian American the other is an African American or it might an African American with an Hispanic American or an Hispanic American with a Caucasian American. So let's go back to those four questions. This is a situation where right off the top they look different and why we like to think we are very open-minded and prejudice is not a huge thing any longer and thank heavens, we have made huge progress and huge strides in this but if we go back to the way the subconscious mind works and we can't change the way the subconscious mind works, the very first thing we do when we see someone, when we meet someone is we see them. So our brain and again, we can't turn this off. Our brain is going to test that out and say, "Is this a pattern that I am used to? Is this a pattern that's familiar to me? Is it something that I recognize? " If two people look different again, the subconscious mind is going to go ding, ding, ding, red alert, something different. Is this going to cause me harm? Is this something I should be fearful of? So just something to be aware of.So these two people in this particular type of situation they look different. They may sound the same. They may sound somewhat different. It depends I mean obviously, we are talking about people who speak English here. If you have got a Hispanic American with a Caucasian American, does the Hispanic American have an accent? Is someone from the south and someone from the north? So they are going to speak the same language but do they have an accent? Do they use slightly different idioms, different expressions and then we think about how they act. Well, pretty different cultures here potentially. Different music the people listen to. Again, different food and it's amazing how again those nuances when you are talking about living together day to day, those nuances have an impact on us. We don't think about them until we are really in that situation where you are trying to bring a household together and you are trying to figure out how you are going to raise your children and what music you are going to listen to or what kind of food you are going to eat and all of those things, but they do have an impact and so then the question is do these people think the same or do they think differently. Well, if both partners have been raised in the same country lots of cultural things will be the same but again, it goes back to the race and the ethnicity and that heritage. Is there a difference in heritage and how the two people think about their roots and where they came from and the history behind there and usually the answer is yes, there is going to be something different there and so there will be different family values. You will have been raised with different family values and how are those going to impact you in a long-term relationship.