What is flirting?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 51,141
    Relationship guru Gloria MacDonald explains what flirting really is.

    Gloria MacDonald

    Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”

    Host: Are there differences between male flirting and female flirting?

    Gloria Macdonald: So again, men and women communicate differently. Women tend to communicate verbally and men communicate non-verbally. So, as women are signals to men that it is okay for them to make the next move, should be non verbal communications. So, there are things like eye contact, smiling, tilting your head.

    So for example, let us say you are sitting there, meeting a man for the first time and you are having discussion with him. You can say, So, what do you do for a living? or you can say, So, what do you do for a living? Huge difference, exact same words, difference in body language, difference in head tilt, leaning in and intonation and they are two very different things. If I say, So, what do you do for a living? that could be a job interview, but if I say. So, what do you do for a living? That shows that I am truly interested in him and he is going to pick up that signal.

    It is much more open way of communicating. So as women, we need to learn some of those non verbal communication skills. I said the exact same words, I said them differently, different body language, different intonation. So, eye contact, big eyes showing that, Wow! What do you do for a living? rather than, What do you do for a living? So, eyes make a big difference, facial expressions, smile and say, Wow! or not even saying it but like, showing, What do you do for a living? rather than, What do you do for a living? So, the facial expression is really important, leaning forward is really important; tilting your head can show them that you have more interest.

    It is a different, more intimate, when you tilt your head rather than just staying straight on. Now, if you are straight on, it might be an intense conversation and that might be okay too, but there are different times to tilt your head rather than being more serious and intent.

    Another thing is small hand gesture. So, for example, if you are sitting at a table across from one another and the guy happens to have his arm up on the table, if you just slightly touch his hand or if you are standing besides one another or even facing one another and you put your hand on his arm for just a second, that shows that is communication and those things are all very subconscious to a man but those body movements, body language things are things that men will pick up on to more than you verbalizing different things.

    So, you need to learn the different body language that works with men and there are lots of great books out there on flirting.