What is the ninth key value for compatibility?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 12,116
    Relationship expert Gloria MacDonald discusses the ninth key value for compatibility in a relationship – intellectualism.

    Gloria MacDonald

    Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”

    Host: What is the ninth key value for compatibility?

    Gloria MacDonald: The ninth key value or trait is Intellectualism. So the person who is high on intellectualism loves books, they love thoughts, they love ideas, they love a good, intellectual discussion maybe about politics or Greenhouse Gas Effect or something like that. This person may truly love to spend hours browsing through a book store. So its the whole idea of exploring ideas and thoughts and delving into something at a deeper level.

    Someone who is high on intellectualism maybe, not necessarily, but they could be quite analytical. The person who is low on intellectualism, generally speaking, really connects more with people and real things rather than ideas and the person who is low on intellectualism, may view the person who is high on intellectualism as someone who is just up there in a lofty, ivory tower and really doesnt get people. So, they feel that that person doesnt get it. They are not connected to the world; they are not connected to the things that are really important. They dont understand and they dont appreciate and they dont value, they dont have the same value as the person who is high on intellectualism. Whereas the person who is high on intellectualism, could look at the person who is low on intellectualism with a great amount of disdain and say, This person just really isnt all that bright and they dont get the importance of ideas and growing and building a brain and a mind, and it's not, intellectualism is not whether someone is smart and intelligent or not. It is the value you put around exploring ideas and thoughts and research.

    The person who is high on intellectualism may love to spend hours and hours and hours doing research on the internet, whereas the person who is low on intellectualism is just like, I dont have time to do all that, I need to be out finding experiencing the world hands on. Whereas the person who is high on intellectualism can experience, feels that they can truly experience the world through reading a book and getting thoughts and ideas. So, again, there can be situations where there is a great amount of disdain and disrespect for the person who is on the opposite end of the spectrum.

    Again, I can't say enough how for all these things, its innate. Its who we are, its how we are wired and its not that one is good and one is bad, but the person who is high on intellectualism tends to feel that their way is the right way and their way is the good way and its the more intelligent way and the person who is low on intellectualism is going to feel like, but thats stupid. That person can't relate to another human being. All they ever do is read books and they dont know how to live in the world.

    So if you start having these two very opposite situations in a relationship, over time, misunderstanding is going to create resentment and disrespect and it will be a challenge.