What is the twelfth key value for compatibility?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 12,038
    Relationship expert Gloria MacDonald discusses the twelfth key value for compatibility in a relationship – sensuality.

    Gloria MacDonald

    Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”

    Host: What is the twelfth key value for compatibility?

    Gloria MacDonald: The final trait is sensuality and this goes right to the heart of intimacy. Again, with all of these things nothing is right, nothing is wrong, nothing is better, nothing is worse. It's just different. So one partner could have a very high libido, a very high sex drive and truly have a physical need for sex on a much higher, more frequent basis than the person who is low on sensuality. This will cause if the two partners are in very different places on this. Again, it's a biological thing. So if two people are just wired differently on this, it's going to create huge potential problems in the relationship because the person who is high on sensuality is probably more adventuresome, wants to try new things and really, truly needs that physical touch, they biologically need the sex and they need it more often than the other partner. If they are not getting it, they feel that their other partner again, doesn't love them, doesn't want them, they feel unneeded and there is nothing worse for the ongoing intimacy of the relationship than for one partner to feel unneeded, unloved and unwanted. On the other hand the person who is lower on sensuality, who truly has a lower biological need for sex may also be more conservative around what they are willing to do in terms of intimacy and physical touch and feel, might feel pushed by the person who has a higher sex drive and that's going to make them feel like they are not respected and they are going to feel very awkward and uncomfortable and eventually, they are going to feel hurt that they are being pushed into a physical relationship, but they just can't handle that they don't want, that's not comfortable to them. So again, this is a huge factor in the ongoing intimacy of a relationship and it's important to understand where you are and where your potential partner is and understand that you truly need to respect the other person. This one is a hard one to really compromise on, as lots of them are but this one is particularly hard to compromise on because there is a biological need and people are just wired differently and it can make the person who is lower on the need for sensuality extremely, extremely uncomfortable, if they feel forced into a situation. So again the more you understand yourself and you understand where your partner or potential partner is on this, the better it is for your relationship.