When can I be sure if I’ve found the right person?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 16,222
    Relationship expert Gloria MacDonald explains when you can be sure that you’ve found the right person.

    Gloria MacDonald

    Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”

    Host: When can I be sure if I have found the right person?

    Gloria MacDonald: So the question is how do you really know? Well, we talked about that gut feel and that gut reaction and chemistry. There has to be chemistry, there has to be some type of attraction to one another but it is not always instant. That chemistry, that physical attraction, that zing can grow. So, if you like this person, give it an opportunity to grow.

    It is not always there in the first 30 to 60 seconds, but then a relationship has to be far more than chemistry and physical attraction and even caring about one another. As we just saw with the story of Bill and Linda. So you really have to use a combination of thinking about it and having that gut feel.

    So what we recommend again is that do not be driven by that gut feel in the first 30 to 60 seconds when you meet someone. That gut feel is going to be there but it is not always right. The instant chemistry and attraction is not a guarantee of leading you down a pathway to success in relationships.

    So think initially. Really hold, reserve judgment on those first couple of meetings. Give yourself the opportunity to go out with somebody three times before you make a decision. Then, if you are in a relationship and the relationship is going on for three, six months, you should not have to be thinking any longer.

    At that point, it truly should be just the gut feeling. You truly should know whether or not this is working. So, again, if we go back to the story of Linda and Bill, Linda and Bill really knew although, they did not want to acknowledge it, they really knew that this was not going to work. They had so much physical chemistry and they truly cared about one another as individuals and human beings but you should not have to work at a relationship.

    If you are constantly having to work at a relationship and compromising on things in those first three to 12 months, this is not going to bode well for a long term successful relationship. So, instead of going with that gut reaction and then thinking about it, reverse that.

    Think about it first, do not go with that gut reaction and then, three to six to 12 months down the road you should not have think about anything any longer. You should know, you should just have that feeling in your gut, that this is the right person for you because the relationship is just full of joy, happiness and this is going to be good for you.