Why do people say they’re going to call but don’t?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 22,305
    Gloria MacDonald offers an explanation for why some people you date may say they will call you, but don’t.

    Gloria MacDonald

    Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”

    Host: Why do people say they are going to call, but do not?

    Gloria MacDonald: After that first meeting or first date, so often at the end of the meeting the guy will say to the woman, Well, I will give you a call sometime, or the woman might say. Give me a call, and then the guy says, I will give you a call, and you never hear from him and I get questions all the time about why do people say that they are going to do something and then they never do it?

    Well, the fact of the matter is it is just difficult when you are there face to face, so often people do not know how to end the date or the meeting. So, the easiest thing to do is say. Well, I will give you a call sometime. So again, do not take this personally, do not feel totally rejected. They do not know you really well, it has just been one time that they have met you and it is hard. It is not that people are being dishonest and misrepresenting themselves because so often women get really concerned or really offended that the guy was dishonest.

    He said he was going to call and he did not call. Well, it is just difficult when you are there face to face to tell the person that you would not be calling them again. So, give the man a break and understand that that is difficult position to be in and so yes they say that they say they will call sometimes because it is the most comfortable way to end that meeting, but if a man has not called you within two weeks you can be pretty sure you are not going to hear from him again.

    For men, if you are interested in seeing this woman, the sooner you call her, the better. Do not wait around. Women are very and see they are anxious. If they are interested in you, trust me, they have gone home right after they have met you, would call two or three or four girlfriends, told them all about the date and they cannot wait to hear from you again.

    Trust me on this guys, if you are interested in her give her a call the very next day and if she is interested in you, the response will be wonderful. The longer you wait, the more she writes you off in her head and thinks, Oh! He is not really interested. Oh! He is not really sincere. Oh! He does not really care. Oh! He is not really serious about dating. Oh! He does not really want to find a woman. So guys, the sooner you call her, the better. Speaker: Then, I guess, that leads up to you if you are not interested, how do you let a person know?

    Gloria MacDonald: If you know at the end of that first meeting that you are really not interested in seeing the person again, I highly recommend you say, I really enjoyed meeting you. You are a great person, you have a fascinating job. Again, say something positive to them, complement them in some way, shape or form, end it on a positive note but then say, I really enjoyed meeting you, sounds like you have got a fascinating career and this is a really interesting conversation. I just do not feel that there was really enough of a connection there for me to take this any further.

    Be honest. Maybe you are not comfortable saying that there in person and if that is the case then again, send an e-mail, leave a voice mail message, let the person know that they are a wonderful human being. Give them some positive feedback about interesting conversation, it was great to meet you, something positive, but then say something very simple that is honest that. I just did not see that special spark, or I did not feel that chemistry there. I did not feel there was enough there to take this to another level. Whatever you do, do not lie, do not make up stories. It never ends up well. It does not reflect well on you or the other person. So often, people will feel like they are making up a white lie to make the other person feel good.

    So, they will say, Oh! You know, I got back together with an old girlfriend or I got back together with an old boyfriend. Most people see right through that. Be honest, be genuine, be sincere. It is not easy, but it is absolutely the best thing to do.