Are there important things I should do on my first meeting?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 15,152
    Gloria MacDonald gives advice on what important things you should do on a first date.

    Gloria MacDonald

    Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”

    Host: What are some things I should avoid during a conversation?

    Gloria MacDonald: When you are meeting somebody for the first time, conversation can be difficult, it just can happen. There are three key things that we highly recommend you do not do. One is do not talk about a former spouse or a former girlfriend or a former boyfriend. There is nothing that turns somebody off more than someone going on and on and on about their ex. If someone asks you about a previous relationship, then you can say something lets say you have been through a divorce, then you can say something like, Well, you know, we decided it was time to go to our own ways, and leave it at that. You need to answer the question but it can be something thats very general, generic. The first meeting is not the time to go into your life long history and all the gory details about why a previous relationship didnt work. It can be a huge turn off and it is rarely if ever, a positive situation.

    Another thing we highly recommend is that you do not turn this into a job interview. So, make sure you are not plastering the other person with questions about themselves. Very often, you are nervous when you are out there for this blind date, this first meeting and when people are nervous they do one of two things. They either talk too much or they dont talk enough. If you are one of those people who talks too much when you are nervous, make sure that you are not plastering the other person with the million questions about themselves.

    One of the big criticisms we hear all the time is that, Gosh, it felt like it was a job interview, I felt like I was grilled, I felt like I went through the Spanish inquisition. Make sure that you are trying really hard to get a balance of you being interested in the other person and asking them questions about themselves but also making sure that you are volunteering some information, if the other person isnt asking you questions.

    Another thing is you shouldnt talk about your dating experiences. This is a no-win situation. If you have met a lot of people and you have been out dating for a long time, then the person you are meeting could think, Oh Gosh, what's the matter with them, they have met so many people, they must be really picky. Something is wrong that they havent met someone yet.

    On the other hand, if you are just starting off in the dating world and you have only met one or two people, the other person can think, Oh, they are just starting off; they havent met nearly enough people yet. They are not ready for a relationship. They can cross you off for that reason. So if someone asks you, So, how many people have you met? How long have you been out dating? How long have you been doing online dating? I highly recommend you just say, Well, you know, I have met a handful of people and I am enjoying the process. Leave it simple and dont go into any long explanation about how many people you have met, how you have met them. It is just a no-win situation.