Can the term “attractiveness” be taken out of context?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 10,823
    Relationship expert Gloria MacDonald discusses the term “attractiveness.”

    Gloria MacDonald

    Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”

    Host: Can the term attractiveness be taken out of context?

    Gloria MacDonald: I have this experience with a client of mine, very attractive, slim, trim, fit, 47 year old woman, mother of two kids and we introduced her to a man and I really thought this was a fantastic introduction and I really thought they would click. This was Anne s very first introduction and she had not been out on a date for over 15 years. So, she was a little nervous understandably, so they had a phone call and things were going really well in the phone call and Anne asked John, So what is the next step? John said, Well, we get together for a coffee to see if there is any attraction. Well, Anne went ballistic, she was furious, she didn t want a man who just was going to look at her for her body and decide whether or not he liked her because of whether or not he was attracted to her body. She was livid. You see Anne was fighting against that human nature. Poor John was totally taken aback. He figured, Well, of course, we are in this because we are looking for life partner, so there is got to be attraction and to him, he was just saying the obvious. We are going to get together to see if there is any attraction. To John, it didn t necessarily mean just physical, but sure that s going to be part of it and he use the A word the attraction word and that just threw Anne off completely because she interpreted as the man was just going to look at her body. Well, you know again, men can t help it and why should we as women be so upset if a man is looking to be attracted to us. Why are we acting like our body is not a part of who we are? We tend to think, Well, I want a man to see who I am as a person, to see my values and what my personality is and what a wonderful person I am. Well, we can t really disassociate ourselves from our body and to expect a man not to look at that is really completely unrealistic because that is after all the very first thing you see when you meet someone, is their physical appearance.

    So again, work with human nature. We know now what a man is looking for so do the best you can possibly do and understand that the man isn t being slimy and he is not just looking for sex. He is hardwired and that s the way it works.