Dating Tips – How to Ask for a Date

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 15,473
    Dating Expert Marya Choby discusses how to ask for a date.

    Marya Choby: Hi! I'm Marya Choby and I am a dating coach. I am sharing dating strategies for shy and introverted singles. Right now, I am going to talk about how to ask for a date. Why is it so hard to ask someone out the first time you meet them? Going from stranger to date, and just a few minutes is nerve-racking, you don't know the other person at all. It makes sense, it would feel awkward and intimidating. Think about it as a process of becoming acquaintances, then friends, and then a date. Say there's someone at the gym you're interested in, and your first encounter smile, make eye contact, introduce yourself, be friendly, share some information about yourself and make small talk. Say goodbye, having left a positive impression. When you run into them again, it's like a reunion of friends. Chat, call them by name, remind them of yours and make small talk. Reveal something more about yourself, perhaps share that you've been training for a half marathon. Pay close attention to the reaction you get. When you share something, you have permission to ask them a question like whether or not they've ever done the race you are training for. Say goodbye, leaving a positive impression, and having learned some real information about them. The third time you see them, you're comfortable with each other. Make small talk, share some more information about yourself like the fact that you just did a great yoga class, ask them if they've ever been to it. If you're getting the green light, ask them if they'd be interested and available to take a class or a jog together. From your conversation, you'll know what they like to do and can offer a date, you think they'll enjoy. Notice, you're also asking whether or not they are available which gives them a chance to tell you if they have a boyfriend. It's important to disengage between age contact. When you're away from them, you regroup, breathe, and assess the interaction you had. Think about their body language, check out first impressions, and determine if you're getting the green light. If you're at a party, talk for a few minutes, break away, and then run into them again and a second and third time. Celebrate the fact that you stepped out of your comfort zone and asked regardless of whether or not they said yes. So those were some strategies for asking for a date. Now let's talk about preparing for your date.