Marya Choby: Hi! I am Marya Choby and I am a dating coach. I am sharing dating strategies for shy and introverted singles. Right now, I am going to talk about how to end the date. It's nice if you schedule a time for the date to end, if not, you will know it's time to go if your energy starts to drop. If your face start to feel wooden, and it's hard to smile or laugh, and it's hard to add anything new to conversation, it's time to end the date. Introverts dislike goodbyes and love to slip out unnoticed. Saying goodbye is more nerve-racking on a date when you wonder if there will be a kiss or a mention of seeing each other again.
Personally, I don't think there needs to be a conversation right then and there about seeing each other again. Often people promise to call because they want to lighten an awkward moment. But it's fine just to say, I enjoyed meeting you and take care, or have a good night. If you feel comfortable you can offer a hug, or a cheek for a kiss. Honor your pacing though, it's okay to take things slow physically. After the date, do not review every word you said to determine if you may have offended the other person. It sounds something like this, I am sure he doesn't like me, oh my God, did I really say that, I can't believe I talked about that on the first date, I am sure I scared him off, or probably he will never call me again. Resist the temptation to go here. When you step on this merry-go-round in your mind, you give your inner critics center stage. If you want to off this mental roller coaster, when you notice you are being yourself up, say stop out loud and get some distance by getting involved in an activity. You will not resolve anything by this line of thinking, you will just feel worse.
Release everything that happened on the date and trust that if you are fit for each other, you will see each other again. It takes some practice to stop yourself when you are being self critical, but once you learn how dating and stepping out of your comfort zone become easier and more enjoyable. Coaches are experts at teaching strategies for dealing with the inner critic and self doubt. So, if you need some extra help breaking the pattern, seek one out.
Remember, the important question after the date is not, dose he like me. But do I like him. Keep this mindset and you will feel more centered and empowered when dating. I have just talked about how to end a date and what to do after. Now, you are ready to get out there and date. I wish you good luck on your search for love.