Dating Tips – How to Know if You are Shy

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 20,297
    Dating Expert Marya Choby discusses how to know if you are shy.

    Marya Choby: Hi! I'm Marya Choby and I am a dating coach. I am sharing dating strategies for shy and introverted singles. Right now, I am going to talk about how to know if you're an introvert or shy. People often confuse the two. But they're actually two separate dynamics. Let's talk about introversion first. The term introvert was used by Carl Jung to describe the type of person who restores their energy by having quiet time preferably alone. The extrovert has the alternate preference, and needs to spend time with people to feel rejuvenated. But there are misconceptions about introverts. Introverts do have social skills, enjoy people in certain types of socializing. If you people watch at a party, you'll see that extroverts working the room, making witty repartee. By the end of the night they've spoken to every person there. Introverts are the wallflowers and observers. They spend time having in-depth conversation with a few people. Likely, they are first to go home, and the extroverts are the last. Introverts will need quiet time to recover, and extroverts are charged up after the party is over. Let's talk about some signs you maybe an introvert. You maybe an introvert if you are completely content being by yourself and can be alone for hours on end. If you've got a small number of deep and significant friendships. If you need quiet time alone to recharge your batteries. If you prefer one-on-one interaction to parties or groups. If you always think of just the right response after you've hung up the phone, or after the conversation has changed directions. If your pace is naturally slower, you can't overbook your calendar or you will feel the consequences. One of the best ways to identify whether you're an introvert or extrovert, is to take the Myers-Briggs type indicator. Myers-Briggs, a mother-daughter team of researchers, developed this inventory based on Carl Jung's work. Your workplace may administer the Myers-Brigg, or you can seek out a workshop, coach or counselor who is trained to administer it. Now let's talk about shyness. Well, shy people and introverts are often self-conscious about how they come across. Shyness is less about how you build energy and more of an apprehension about interacting with people and facing new situations. People who are shy maybe seen as distant or aloof and feel very anxious having one-on-one conversations or being in groups. Shyness is usually learned from experiences in childhood. It may come and go at various stages of life and in certain situations. Believe it or not, both introverts and extroverts can suffer from shyness. Here are some indicators or shyness. People who are shy have a lack of confidence in certain social situations, worry about what others think of you, may sweat and have a racing heart when socializing, beat themselves up and are overly self-critical. So now that you know about shyness and introversion, let's talk about dating challenges that shy and introverted singles commonly face.