Do you need to share a similar background, ideas and ideologies in a relationship?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 14,506
    Dating and relationship coach Toni Coleman discusses how to know if your relationship has keeper chemistry, including your combined background, ideas, and ideologies.

    Speaker: Do you need to share a similar background, ideas, and ideologies in a relationship?

    Toni Coleman: You don't necessarily have to come from the same background or have all of the same ideologies or ideas. I think it is a great myth in our culture that this kind of whole soulmate thing, that my soulmate is going to look like me, is going to come from same kind of family, is going to have the same kinds of past experience and none of that necessarily true.

    There are many, many couples who come from different nationalities, different religious backgrounds, all kinds of differences and find that they share the same basic values. They share kind of the same goals for the future. The things that matter to one matter to the other and if they are able to connect around those things and have a compatibility in terms of their friendship and perhaps their energy, how they like to spend their time, the things that are important to them and these are the things that really hold a relationship together.

    It is not about being the same and in fact many relationships where people come from very similar backgrounds fall apart and the divorce rate is no less for people from the same background than it is from people from very different backgrounds and different ideologies.