Chris WrightChris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from all over the world. He also has over 35 years of experience as a trainer and workshop leader in human and organizational development across the U.S. and Canada. Chris was founder and director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston, Texas. He was also the Director of PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple’s skills programs. As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships -- for couples and in the workplace. He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.
Host: Don t women want to have sex as well?
Chris Wright: I think women would say yes that they would like to have sexual intercourse with their partner but maybe for those 18% I can imagine them saying but not if it has to come with all these pressures, these expectations, these needs just having to be a sexual object, this having to turn the man on, all this activity overshadows something that is sublime and even though maybe these women would never had that experience, maybe that is all they know as sex and cuddling.
They have not any experience where there is no pressure, where they get to completely absorb each experience that comes up with their full awareness. So they have this experience of making the spiritual connection that is more fulfilling. For many I think it is more intuitive that there is a sense of, there is more and that is why that they prefer just to be cuddled and maybe it is because also that lovemaking has a lot of qualities that you are associating with cuddling.
In lovemaking, as in cuddling there is no pressures, there is no where to go, you start in love and each moment is an expression of that love. There is no direction, there is no goal, there is no focus that has to go somewhere just like with cuddling. So as a result without those pressures, there is a sense of really being able to fully absorb the experience, their whole awareness is now free to completely be here now with you in the connection, in the innocence of it.
That innocence is what moves the whole experience forward just like in lovemaking where there is not a set strategy that the man has that you go here, you go here, you go here and then you do this. It is more completely open, so each time it is spontaneous and it evolves on its own. So all those qualities tend to make cuddling more meaningful but cuddling is missing something fundamental.
When you have -- when you create sexual union that is when the biological complete circuitry of the masculine and feminine energies come together and they are unified, that is what creates the power, that is what creates the sense of the ecstatic union of these basic life forces come together and when that emerges in to awareness that is deeply fulfilling, deeply enlivening. There is a real sense of those zing to that, masculine and feminine energy coming together connecting it fundamentally as they do in sexual union.
So, having that dimension in lovemaking opens up a whole new dimension of sex that maybe many women have been thought of but they have not been experiencing and it adds a whole new dimension to the whole intimacy and the relationship. It add a whole new dimension to the relationship itself, and that s far more fulfilling together having shared something so vulnerably, so profound, so meaningfully together often.