Host: How can I explain to my child if my spouse wants a divorce and I do not?
John Spiegel: Well, you may not need to say anything at all. It depends on the age of the children, it depends on what questions they ask you in on the whole context. If it is a situation where you feel that that piece of information is important, in other words as a parent, you want to say to your child, This wasn't my idea, I wasn't the one that initiated this.
The key if you are going to communicate that information is to be descriptive and not blaming. Just in every stage of these communications with children about separation, divorce, a key rule is no blaming because that's harmful to the children. So you could say to them just as a factual matter, It was your father who initiated this, but not partially. Not as if to say And it is his fault that we are all suffering, that is not appropriate, it is not helpful.