Chris WrightChris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from all over the world. He also has over 35 years of experience as a trainer and workshop leader in human and organizational development across the U.S. and Canada. Chris was founder and director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston, Texas. He was also the Director of PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple’s skills programs. As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships -- for couples and in the workplace. He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.
Host: How can we learn more about our own Enneagram type and our partners?
Chris Wright: So, I encourage you to learn more about your Enneagram personality type and your wings and lines and as well as that your partners because this is the central focus of what your needs are in this relationship. I know it is something foreign to most people but it is something becoming increasingly popular and so it is an awful lot of material on the Enneagram. You go on the Internet and type in the word Enneagram E-N-N-E-A-G-R-A-M and then type in your number 1 or 5 or 7 and you get all of search material coming up describe that and then typing your wings and your lines, you want to ask your team what are the qualities that show up in my personality in this type because ones have different flavors in their personality, not all ones show up the same way but they all share the same need inside and so you want to identify what those needs are for you and for your partner.
There are also a number of books available in books stores, you can go to in libraries and if you really having difficult time, then you can call an Enneagram expert. The reason why you might have a difficult time is that, some people appear ones or fours or sevens and it was very easy to pick them out, but people have very strong wings or strong lines. For example, the 9, a 9s who has need to go with the flow and lay it back and tends to procrastinate, he could have a strong line to 3 and 3 is a very action oriented very much about results and so the 9 with a strong alined to 3 would show up with someone who is very active, it creates a lot of results when they get home that s their time to lay back, go with the flow, they procrastinate at home. So, it is the different combination of energies or needs, they need to be appreciated as 3 is appreciated and valued, at the same time they need to avoid conflict and go with the flow. It is not so important to find out which one anguish you and that will be cleared if you learned more. It is more important to see that you do have different facets in your personality; you have different needs that show up in your personality and that those needs, need to be attuned to or counted for in a relationship. If there are not you are going to create problems. So, I encourage you to read a lot about the Enneagram, if you not have an easy time reading about it then call an expert. So, you can really get clear about what your types are, what your needs are and what your partners needs are and then how we are going to work with those needs.