How do you share control with a child and not look weak?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 21,507
    Julie Greenlee explains how to share control with a child without looking weak.

    Julie Greenlee

    Julie Greenlee, Certified Love & Logic Instructor.    Julie is currently Program Director at For Children’s Sake Emergency Diagnostic Center, a child placing agency specializing in therapeutic foster care, adoption, and residential treatment.  There she works with the most defiant children. She has received trainings on Childhood Differential Diagnoses, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Autism and Asbergers, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Children and Families with HIV/AIDS, and has become a certified facilitator of Love and Logic which is the philosophy and core that For Children's Sake uses to teach both parents, staff, and community members, on appropriate and effective ways to parent and discipline a normal to extremely defiant child.

    How do you share control with the child and not look weak?

    Julie Greenlee: I think it s really important for parents to remember that it is not a sign of weakness, when we choose to share control with our kids, in fact it puts it in a position where we can become really powerful consultants with our kids.

    It s important to remember that our kids are not going to live with us forever, that they are going to go off to college, hopefully go off and live on their own and when we have taken the time to role model decision making, when we have given them opportunities to make wise choices and to use discernment, we are doing our kids a great favor that a lot of parents are not allowing their kids to have, we want to give choices throughout the entire day. When they want to get up in the morning, when they want to go to bed, we want to give choices about what they want to eat, how much we should put on their plate, how much TV time, when they should do their home work and just about every area of a kid s life, we want them to have some control of it .

    Control as in a need, human need, we all want it, we all need it, we all desire it and so, instead of fighting that battle with our kids, we can win it right away by allowing them to share some control on the house with you.

    Moms and Dads need to make choices about safety decisions, about things that affect the family, but when it comes to things that affect the kid s life, whether or not they brush their teeth, whether or not they choose to make their bed in the morning. We can let those go so that we can win the bigger battles with our kids in life.