Host: How important is our body language in our ability to communicate effectively?
Toni Coleman: Hi, I am Toni Coleman and I am a psychotherapist and a dating and relationship coach and today, we are talking about great tips for meeting, dating, and relating and now, we are going to move into some questions to help you become a more successful online dater.
The most important do is begin with your picture. Too often people do not post any kind of a picture or they post a primary picture that is grainy or it's shaded, perhaps, you don't see their features very well, they are in the dark. It just a very unclear or it's just unflattering or perhaps it's taken too far away and so the first thing that I tell people is to pay attention to your picture. You want to get a really great close-up headshot and you want it to really showcase your best features and it's worth investing and it's worth finding a photographer that can do this for you and really get the best possible picture. Along with that primary picture, you should have at least two full body shots and it's really important to take pictures with friends or pursuing an activity that you are going to be writing about in the ad because it gives real context to your story and helps to paint a picture of what it's like to spend time with you. That's the first and most important tip. The next one is that many of these online ads have headlines. You don't want your headline to sound like everybody else's, like nice guy seeks great woman. Anybody could have written that. You want it to reflect you, reflect your personality; something unique and make it a teaser, so that they look at it and they want to know more. Then some other real important things are the tone of your ad. It should be positive and upbeat. Do not say things like I can't believe I am doing this; do not talk about your ex; do not talk about how you can not stand your boss, your coworkers, your kids, your dog; it needs to be positive and it never hurts to tell a funny little vignette or funny little stories as long as it's brief.
I also tell people do not use a lot of adjectives, do not describe things in terms of, I am funny, I am smart, I am fun to be with because again, it sounds like anybody else. Tell them specifically, what kind of wine you like. Tell them if you are great cook, what you cook or what perhaps your favorite meal is. If you love to out to restaurants, tell them what your favorite restaurant is. So, give some specific information and if you are a funny person, do not tell them that you are funny. Be funny in the ad; demonstrate that with the way you write about yourself. Those are some of my best tips. Oh, before you send that ad into cyberspace, make sure that you use spell-check and that you edit it for good grammar, because that is probably one of the first things that send somebody flying to the next ad.