How would creating emotional safety change the relationship?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 16,303
    Relationship expert Chris Wright explains how creating emotional safety change the relationship.

    Chris Wright

    Chris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.  He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from all over the world.  He also has over 35 years of experience as a trainer and workshop leader in human and organizational development across the U.S. and Canada.   Chris was founder and director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston, Texas.  He was also the Director of PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple’s skills programs.     As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships -- for couples and in the workplace.  He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.

    Host: How would creating emotional safety change the relationship?

    Chris Wright: Creating emotional safety changes everything in the relationship, it s huge. Emotional safety that allows you to keep your hearts opens together. Emotional safety that enables you to work through your issues together, it s a foundation; it s a theme of this series. So, imagine that you are with a partner and that when they get triggered or they get upset. They take responsibility and they own their issues that are showing out then they don t blame them on you and they don t blame them on to the world. That creates emotional safety. Imagine being with someone where your needs is conflict and that they work throughout in a way that s sensitive and honoring of each other, that creates emotional safety. Imagine you are in a situation where you are feeling very vulnerable or overwhelmed and your partner knows how to be there for you and be vulnerable as well. That creates emotional safety. Emotional safety creates trust and trust is huge in a relationship, that s the foundation of the relationship. I trust that I can open up my heart and you won t hurt me. I trust that in this relationship we can work on whatever issues come up and work through them together safely, that s big. The tools that we are going to go over create emotional safety. When you create emotional safety is to realizing of the attentions that normally would turn into an argument, that they are connected to some areas inside that are fragile, to some insecurities and with this tool you feel safe enough to open up and share what s really going on inside, what this is really about in a more intimate way. So, where as before our intentions would come up, they would create an argument that would push away. Now, with these tools, with emotional safety, we are able to share what s really going on in a heart felt way, in a way that s pointing, and moving and meaningful in this relationship. We are letting our guard down and showing what s really going on inside, it s interesting. When you do that, when you create that kind of vulnerability it deepens the bond in the relationship. It deepens it much more than the things then life and pleasure in the relationship like romance and having fun and meaningful events. They enriched the relationship. But when you reach to the situations where tensions come up and you open up in to your heart and share vulnerably, that creates a much deeper level of trust. A much deeper bond, a much deeper sense of intimacy that s far richer, far more for filling and so this series is about creating an emotional safety in this relationship, so you can keep your hearts open and work through relationship.