How would I know when I’m caught up in my Turn On’s?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 11,161
    Relationship expert Chris Wright explains how to know when you’re caught up in your turn on’s.

    Chris Wright

    Chris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.  He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from all over the world.  He also has over 35 years of experience as a trainer and workshop leader in human and organizational development across the U.S. and Canada.   Chris was founder and director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston, Texas.  He was also the Director of PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple’s skills programs.     As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships -- for couples and in the workplace.  He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.

    Host:How would I know when I am caught up in my own Turn On's ?

    Chris Wright:That is certainly the experiences, you are with your partner and you are often to your own private world of euphoria, that they are reveling in their own inner experience and a way they are caught up in wanting things to done that would trigger these Turn On's . So, the focus is more on the doing to get high rather than the experience of connecting together.

    In these situations, they are connected more to their imagination then they are to you, and you can feel that. There is more fantasy going on in real love or lovemaking and so the question to ask yourself is, why would you need to trigger these fantasy substitute, why would you need to get each other turned on to have to make love, to get in the mood, to get an erection? The only reason a couple would ever have to start relying on Turn On's , on trying to get each other sexually excited is because there is a sense of they do not know how to tap into any longer these love energies, these more sublime, more powerful, more exhilarating, more intimate, more meaningful energies together and so they start to rely on now substituting spicing up the relationship, but you did not need that one you first met together and you made love.

    There was not any thought that you would have to say, let us stop and put on a video tape or do this or do that. There was so much -- those love energies are so all encompassing. So, fulfilling in and of themselves is much richer than the imagination that you wouldn t think to do that. The only reason they start to start to creep in, is when you use lose touch with, how to sustain that, how to attune to those love energies together? So, it becomes important for a couple to learn that, to learn how to make love, to learn how to keep -- how to attract, how to attune to, how to unleash these more profound energies inside themselves that are exhilarating, that are so deeply fulfilling together.