If my children live at home when can I have the person I’m dating stay over night?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 11,037
    Relationship expert Gloria MacDonald discusses dating over 40, including when it’s ok to have the person you’re dating stay overnight when your kids are in the house.

    Host: If my children live at home when can I have the person I am dating stay over a night?

    Gloria Macdonald: People often ask me when they can have their new significant other stay over a night when they have got children around and there are, no right and wrong answers to this, there is no good and bad and better and worse. Every situation is unique and different and again, you need to do what's right for you, your children and your partner.

    One thing I would definitely suggest is that you establish a relationship between your children and your new significant other, the person that you are dating and that relationship is going fairly well. Certainly, you would not want to have this person stay overnight the first time you have introduce him or her to your children. You want to make sure that there is relationship established and you definitely want to take into consideration the age, the maturity of your kids.

    If your kids are really young, frankly, do not underestimate their resiliency. They might not even understand at all, what this means and it might be nothing. You might be making a bigger deal out of this than your children. Clearly, for some people there are moral and ethical and religious values around this and they would not ever want someone to stay overnight with their children unless they were married and those things you have to respect and that's again, each individual's decision and something that they need to feel comfortable with.

    The biggest thing I suggest is that there is that relationship established between your new significant other and your children and if that relationship is going fairly well and that by all means there is openness around this, so you are not sneaking the person in at night and sneaking him out in the morning. I do not think that's a really good way to operate in any situation.