Is dating more difficult for single moms or dads?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 20,997
    Relationship expert Gloria MacDonald discusses dating over 40, including the difficulties of dating as a single mom and dad.

    Gloria MacDonald: Hi! My name is Gloria MacDonald. I am a dating and relationship expert. I have a dating service called Perfect Partners that caters to 40 plus professionals. I am also co-author of the book called 'Laws of the Jungle: Dating For Women Over 40'. We are talking about dating when you are over 40 and in this particular segment we are talking about dating when you have children.

    Speaker: Is dating more difficult for single moms or dads?

    Gloria MacDonald: It is generally speaking more difficult for single moms to get out there and date then it is for single dads. The great child psychologist, D.

    W. Winnicott said, "There is no such thing as a baby without a mother" and I mean that's true; women these days can have children without a father being present. On the other hand, a father can't have a child without the mother being present and that bond of mother and child carries through life, frankly. Generally speaking, while we are in more and more situations where there is joint custody of children, still by and large, women are the primary caregivers and tenders, spend more time with children in a single parent household. So, very often women are limited just strictly from a time perspective, because their children are only with their dads, maybe one night a week and every weekend. We also can't underestimate, again, that bond between mother and child and how much more difficult it is for children to accept their mother to be out there dating then for children to accept their father to be out there dating. Now, every situation is different and that's generality, but it is true that children do tend to be more accepting if their father do get out their dating again; largely because they are not thinking of their father as their primary caregiver. So there is not as much of a threat when their father starts to date and bring a new woman into their lives as they are if their mother, who is their primary caregiver, starts to date and starts to bring a new man into their life. Subconsciously, the children are going to start to think, where are my meals coming from; who is going to tuck me in bed at night; who is going to be taking care of me; who is going to be nurturing me. Again, this is a subconscious level, but those things do go through a child's mind. So it is more challenging for women, generally speaking, than it is for men to start dating when you have children.