Marya Choby: Right now I'm going to talk about how to meet people to date. The number one way to meet new people is to be introduced by friends. But if you want to get set up you have to let your friends know you're interested and available to be set up.
You will not seem desperate or needy if you casually mention that you're up for meeting new people. If there aren't a lot of singles in your network, then I suggest becoming a regular at a coffee shop, exercise class, running club, or book group.
Everyone you meet has the potential to know someone and you'll feel more comfortable if you've got a routine. Build communities around your passions and interests. Attend lectures, take classes, and participate in individual sports, with a group, it will be easier for you to have conversation when you're really passionate and interested in what you're doing.
Consider online dating. Don't be afraid to convey depth in your profile. Give yourself the opportunity to talk on the phone a few times before meeting to increase your comfort level.
So what about parties and bars? If you run into someone worth meeting, it's great if you can get introduced. If not, consider taking the initiative, make eye contact and smile, when you are one-on-one at the bar. A little later, say hello again and smile, think of a few easy comments to make and introduce yourself, and after some time say hello again and have a longer conversation. You'll feel like old friends by the end of the night.
Now you're ready to get out there and date. I wish you good luck on your search for love.