Julie GreenleeJulie Greenlee, Certified Love & Logic Instructor. Julie is currently Program Director at For Children’s Sake Emergency Diagnostic Center, a child placing agency specializing in therapeutic foster care, adoption, and residential treatment. There she works with the most defiant children. She has received trainings on Childhood Differential Diagnoses, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Autism and Asbergers, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Children and Families with HIV/AIDS, and has become a certified facilitator of Love and Logic which is the philosophy and core that For Children's Sake uses to teach both parents, staff, and community members, on appropriate and effective ways to parent and discipline a normal to extremely defiant child.
hat are some examples of enforceable statements when dealing with defiant children?
Julie Greenlee: Remember enforceable statements is turning all of your No s in to Yes s. It is a lot easier for us as parents and care-takers to tell the kid, what we point on doing, instead of expecting them to do, what we have asked them to do. If you have got a difficult kid, you already know you are probably going to here word no. You are going to be ignored or you, somebody is going to mouth off to you and so instead of asking your child go, clean your room, we can simply say, I would be happy to take you to soccer practice as soon as your room is clean and you can use that in any circumstance.
I would be happy to cook you dinner as soon as I feel treated with love and respect. I would be happy to do all those things that you want me to do, do your laundry, help you clean in your room, help you do your drawers, take you to your friend s house as soon as and fill in the blank with whatever you are having difficulty with your kids.
Enforceable statements work in all situations. Teachers can use them him, parents can use them, we use them all the time at The Emergency Diagnostic Center. If you have ever had a problem with seat belts being worn in the car, simply stop the car and tell the child, I would be happy to continue taking you to your friend s house, as soon as you have your seat belt on.
If child chooses not to do it, it s the child that suffers, we don t have to say, any other word, because we can control what we do as parents.