Julie GreenleeJulie Greenlee, Certified Love & Logic Instructor. Julie is currently Program Director at For Children’s Sake Emergency Diagnostic Center, a child placing agency specializing in therapeutic foster care, adoption, and residential treatment. There she works with the most defiant children. She has received trainings on Childhood Differential Diagnoses, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Autism and Asbergers, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Children and Families with HIV/AIDS, and has become a certified facilitator of Love and Logic which is the philosophy and core that For Children's Sake uses to teach both parents, staff, and community members, on appropriate and effective ways to parent and discipline a normal to extremely defiant child.
What are some things to remember while disciplining a child?
Julie Greenlee: There is a lot of things to remember when it comes to disciplining difficult children. First and foremost is that we love them. That we are not the enemy that we are not the bad guy, that the choice that he made is what s going to make their life sad or difficult. Now we want our kids to be uncomfortable when they have made a bad choice, is that they make a bad choice and everything works are good for them. You really haven t learned anything and that can be a little bit scary.
We want to make sure that the price tag is affordable and it s going to be much more affordable when they are younger. So when disciplining kids, we want to make sure that we continue to have a smile on our face, that we utilize our one-liners, that we utilize having these phrases in our lives. I know and I would be happy to talk to you when your voice sounds as calm as mine, allows us to save energy. We want to have in the back of our minds, consequences that we are going to use the energy drainer. We want to make sure that we can identify natural consequences and that were never punitive with our kids.
We want to share control in our homes by offering choices. We remember that the rules of choices that we only give two, there is a time limit for them to make it and that both choices that we give our kids live them deliriously happy.
Finally, we want to remember that we want to make our No s into Yes s. We can only control ourselves and we are disillusioned if we think that we can control the choices that a child makes. So when we finally accept that I can only control me, it makes our lives a lot easier when we start to win a lot more battles with our difficult kid. So when it comes to disciplining them, we want to make sure that we are the ones that give them the love that their choices are the ones that deliver them their consequences and that their consequences live them feeling really uncomfortable so that they can learn a big lesson.