What are some ways to move on after a break up?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 14,791
    Gloria MacDonald offers advice for how to move on after a difficult break up.

    Gloria MacDonald

    Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”

    Host: What are some ways to move on after a breakup. Gloria MacDonald: I recognize that sometimes, it is tough to cope with the breakup of a relationship. This person meant a lot to you and you were hoping that the relationship would go on and frankly, it is really, really hurtful sometimes. So there are different coping mechanisms for different people and it is okay to have an iddy-biddy-diddy party. So it is okay to feel sorry for yourself for a while but then go, get over it. So maybe you have a weekend where you hang out with the girls and eat tons of chocolate cake and ice-cream and chips and dip and that's okay. Indulge yourself for a bit, but don't let it drag on and on and on. So it is okay to what we really need to do is recognize, accept the fact, This is hard for me. It is painful. I really cared a lot about this person and I wanted the relationship to go on. So I think one of the things in coping is recognizing that this is hard for you. Don't try to ignore the fact that this is hard for you. Recognize it is hard for you and then when you feel yourself going down in that downward spiral of depression and feeling sorry for yourself, you have to consciously make an effort and take steps to do things that are going to pull you up. So maybe one of the things that energizes you is working out. So go work out if you start feeling yourself yourself going down in that spiral. Maybe one of the things that you love doing is going for a walk or going for a run, maybe you really enjoy painting, so go paint. Find things that bring you joy, that make you feel good, find things that give you a sense of inspiration. If you are someone who likes listening to CDs, motivational CDs, then listen to those motivational CDs. Maybe a great book, maybe you really love reading and getting involved in a great book or going to the movies and seeing a great movie. Find things that are going to make you feel happy, things that you get joy and fulfillment out of and do more of those things. It is okay to talk to friends and if you need professional help, go seek that professional help. Make sure that you don't get involved in any kind of violent behavior, lashing out at other people or things. Don't allow yourself to get involved in behavior that's self-destructive, drinking too much, getting involved in drugs, not showing up at work, things like that. Be really aware of those things and if you are starting to go down those roads, make sure you get help from a professional. As hard as it is for us to go ask for help because it makes us feel like failures, the fact of the matter is, you are not a failure if you are really having a tough time coping with the breakup of a relationship. It is one of the most challenging things we face as human beings and you deserve it. You deserve to find a solution to this, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel that sense of fulfillment and joy. So take care of yourself. Take the time to take care of yourself so that you can start feeling better about yourself, so that you can go out there and find that great man or woman who you can have a full long-term wonderful relationship with.