Hi, I am Toni Coleman and I am a Psychotherapist and a dating and relationship coach and today, we are talking about great tips for meeting, dating and relating. Now, we are going to move into some questions to help you become a more successful online dater.
Host: What are the most important dos for writing a personal ad when dating online?
Toni Coleman: The most dos begin with your picture. Too often, people do not post any picture or they post a primary picture that is grainy or it is shaded, perhaps, you do not see their features very well, they are in the dark. It is just very unclear or it is just unflattering or perhaps it is taken too far away. So, the first thing that I tell people is to pay attention to your picture. You want to get a really great, close-up head shot and you want it to really showcase your best features and it is worth investing and it is worth finding a photographer that can do this for you and really get the best possible picture. Along with that primary picture, you should have at least two full body shots and it is really important to take pictures with friends or pursuing an activity that you are going to be writing about in the ad because that gives real context to your story and helps to paint a picture of what it is like to spend time with you. That is the first and most important tip. The next one is that many of these online ads have headlines. You do not want your headline to sound like everybody else's, like 'Nice guy seeks great woman.
' Anybody could have written that. You want it to reflect you, reflect your personality, something you need and make it a teaser so that they look at it and they want to know more. Then, some other real important things are the tone of your ad. It should be positive and upbeat. Do not say things like I can not believe I am doing this. Do not talk about your Ex. Do not talk about how you can not stand your boss, your coworkers, your kids, your dog. It needs to be positive. It never hurts to tell a funny, little vignette or funny, little stories as long as it is brief.
I also tell people do not use a lot of adjectives, do not describe things in terms of, I am funny, I am smart, I am fun to be with because again, it sounds like anybody else. Tell them specifically, what kind of wine you like. Tell them if you are great cook, what you cook or what perhaps your favorite meal is. If you love to out to restaurants, tell them what your favorite restaurant is. So, give some specific information and if you are a funny person, do not tell them that you are funny. Be funny in the ad; demonstrate that with the way you write about yourself. Those are some of my best tips. Oh, before you send that ad into cyberspace, make sure that you use spell-check and that you edit it for good grammar, because that is probably one of the first things that send somebody flying to the next ad.