Toni Coleman: Hi! I am Toni Coleman and I am a psychotherapist and dating and relationship coach and today, we are talking about great meeting, dating and relating tips and now, I am going to answer some questions about how to speak the nonverbal language of dating and relationships?
Speaker: What exactly is body language and how do we speak it?
Toni Coleman: Body language is the nonverbal communication that we all give off to each other and it's all of those things that we don't say, at least not with our voice and not with our words, but we say with our body and it is a very important part of what we communicate and it occurs more on an unconscious level, so, that we are very often not seeking about it, we are just feeling something whet we are in the presence of another person and that something that anybody can relate to. You just have to this feeling. You have this instant response to somebody or you have an instant impression of what they are all about. It's very often not related to anything that they have said and very often we are not even hearing what they are saying, not really. We are picking up on all of that nonverbal language that they are giving off and we speak with our bodies through our facial expressions, our eye contact, what we do with our hands, our posture; even how we move our feet around, that kind of thing.
It's not uncommon for people to talk about eye contact for instance and to talk about how they got -- somebody offers them great eye contact and it made them feel a certain way or somebody was moving their feet in a certain way or standing in a certain kind of position and it registers something positive or negative to them and those are the kinds of things that happen through a nonverbal communication and so we really give people a very strong sense of what we are feeling and thinking and they are going to be reacting to that and too often, we don't really think about that. We are thinking too much about what it is that we are going to say when in fact that doesn't speak nearly as well, as what we are going to do.