Host: What factors help children cope with there parents marital breakup?
John Spiegel: Well, the key is for parents to approach the end of their marriage as not the end of their relationship, but as a huge transformation in their relationship. So they are no longer going to be intimate partners, lovers, spouses, but they are not going to be parents of their children and they are going to raise these children together for the rest of there lives.
I mean we all know we soon find out that parenting job does not end when children reach the age of maturity; it really is a life long connection. So, the key thing that helps children thrive in the context of their parents' marriage ending and there lives going forward in separate households is the teamwork that the parents will build and it is a new kind of relationship, what therapists often call a co-parenting relationship, a more limited kind of relationship, a work kind of relationship. But it can be a wonderful relationship for the children and also for the parents.