What is “compatibility” in a love relationship?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 18,233
    Relationship expert Chris Wright explains what the term compatibility has to do with love in a relationship.

    Chris Wright

    Chris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.  He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from all over the world.  He also has over 35 years of experience as a trainer and workshop leader in human and organizational development across the U.S. and Canada.   Chris was founder and director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston, Texas.  He was also the Director of PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple’s skills programs.     As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships -- for couples and in the workplace.  He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.

    Host: What is compatibility in a loved relationship?

    Chris Wright: Compatibility is important, it is the second source of happiness and fulfillment in a relationship and it is the most important. Compatibility is when your needs are lined up, when you both get along well because you are both appreciative in value and responsive to each other s core personality needs. Each of us has core needs at the source of the base of our personality; in fact our whole personality is built around meeting those needs. They are fundamental to who we are if you are someone who disregards these personality needs, is not responsive to them, you are not going to be happy in this relationship, it is going to drive you nuts.

    Meeting these needs, finding someone who blends with these is the basis of your happiness here. It is so vital, it is so essential, that that is the reason why we have an engagement period because you can form love with someone, but it takes getting to know them overtime to see to what extent our needs are lining up, to what extent do we respond to each others core needs. If in the relationship you start discovering overtime that you are not responsive to my needs or your needs were conflicting with my needs, we are not getting along and so that merely we end the relationship.

    However, with someone as overtime we realize that our needs are lining up, that we are responsive, we are feeling very fulfilled in this relationship and that s the basis of happiness in a relationship is to what extent is your personality needs line up together that you responsive to each other needs.