What is the “Elusive In-Love Group” of women?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 10,626
    Relationship expert Gloria MacDonald discusses the categories of dating women, including the “elusive in-love” group.

    Speaker: What is the 'Elusive In-Love Group' of women?

    Gloria MacDonald: The final groups of woman are the 'Elusive In-Love Group'. Again, this can be any age range. These can be women who are in their late 30s up to 70s. These are women who have had very few relationships in their lives, usually they have just had one or two short-term relationships, maybe of a year or two and that relationship usually has tended to be earlier on and for these women love just seems to be elusive for them. They feel like finding a man is really difficult. They do not get out there and date; they do not do a lot of dating; they are intelligent, fit, very attractive capable women, very often. It is not that these women are all unattractive or overweight or anything like that. If you will meet them, you'd say, gosh! Why are not they in a wonderful relationship. They look like they will be fantastic for some great deserving man; but usually again, there is something that is holding these women back, very often, a fear of something, fear of rejection, fear of failure, it is almost always the fear that is holding them back. Fear that they will never be good enough for the man whatever it is; but there is something going on for these women and again very often these women might have to do some self searching. Sometimes these women just feel like, gosh! I am just not a fantastic flirt. I do not know how to flirt; I am not comfortable flirting; and they feel like, men do not give them a chance because they are not going to win the man over the first time they meet them. They are not going to vial the man on that first blind date. Well, you know if you really want to find a partner, you are going to have to do something different. You know that old saying, 'if you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten; in order to get what you have never gotten you have got to do what you have never done. So if you have a really difficult time finding a man you are going to have to do something different. You may have to step out of your comfort zone. You might have to figure out what fear it is that you have and overcome that fear. You might have to learn how to flirt. There are all kinds of different things, but clearly if what you have done do far for 40, 50 years is not working, you have got to figure out how to do something differently. We have got another cartoon, which I think says an off a lot for these 'Elusive In-Love Group' in my book 'Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40'. These cartoons are by the great cartoonist Cathy Thorn.

    'Please do not hurt me.

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