What is the range of sexual experiences we can have?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 13,681
    Relationship expert Chris Wright explains the distinction here between the range of experiences that you can have.

    Chris Wright

    Chris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.  He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from all over the world.  He also has over 35 years of experience as a trainer and workshop leader in human and organizational development across the U.S. and Canada.   Chris was founder and director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston, Texas.  He was also the Director of PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple’s skills programs.     As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships -- for couples and in the workplace.  He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.

    Host: What is the range of sexual experiences we can have?

    Chris Wright: So there is a distinction here between the range of experiences that you can have. Each one gives a different experience in your sex but it also drives its energy or the pleasure from a whole different source inside. As you see in the chart, in far left side, it is just pure physical raw sex. There is no meaning attached to it. It is just raw sex and the energy comes from the biological energy and for some people that could be a pleasurable experience of the touch, of the closeness.

    As you move up the scale though, most people find a need to add -- use their imaginations, to add some richness or add some meaning to the experience and so the focus becomes on triggering these highly charged imaginative fantasy substitutes that bring a lot of pleasure in to the act. All of the sudden when you move to love making you are shifting to a whole different experience and source of energy.

    The focus is on opening your heart and this is the love energy, so that directs a new experience. What happens is, is when you unify, the masculine and feminine pole of this universal life force, something magical happens, it creates a spark that is incredibly meaningful and profound, a sense of wholeness is created. That is why the masculine and the feminine are compelled towards each other.

    So, in a sexual union when these forces are fully united biologically and spiritually, it creates an incredible, unleashes incredible forces, sensations, pleasures that take over the whole experience, very fulfilling that people find themselves in that experience feeling whole. As we said, you can move up the scale even further where the experience transcends any sense of separation, where you merge fully with the experience within yourself. There is no separations from yourself.

    A sense of really coming home, really centered and the sense of transcending any separation with your partner, a sense of merging together, even going out further some people experience it to a sense of merging in to the spiritual universe. The forces of the spiritual universe and there is a sense of ecstatic oneness, a spiritual experience that can happen.

    So you see in this whole realm, a range sex can go from physical sex, erotic, fantasy sex, turn on sex up to lovemaking, a different source of the energy connecting these like poles and then moving in to a spiritual experience. At each level as you move up the scale, you will notice that it increasingly becomes more fulfilling, more pleasurable, more ecstatic, more wholesome.