Gloria MacDonaldGloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”
What is the second deadly dating sin for women?
The second deadly dating is the sin of an ungentlemanly conduct. If the man does not open the door for you, pull out the chair for you, order the fine bottle of wine for you, walk you to your car, he is just not a gentleman and your mother absolutely would not approve. So forget it, he is a goner.
Now here is the problem with this, we as women get all wrapped up again in our fairy tale dreams and we are looking for Prince Charming, we want romance in the whole thing, and the guys just do not get that they are supposed to do all these things. They do not even know there is a test they have to pass, and particularly if you are meeting a man through online dating or speed dating or a dating service and if you are in any kind of a blind dating situation, that first meeting is not a date to the men.
It is a meeting, he does not know you, he has never met you before. So, it is strictly meeting and in his mind he is meeting you to find out if there is enough interest to ask you out on a date. For us, it is a date and we figure it out. We have called all our girlfriends; we have gone shopping for new clothes. We figure it out, no if I wear my black pant, should I wear blue sweater or should I wear that other black sweater I have, and we have got on and on and on about this, and we walk down the isle, we plan the wedding, we are on the honeymoon, and we have not even met the man yet, and the poor guy is just meeting you, he is not in date mood. So just because he might not do all those gentlemanly chivalrous things; does not mean he does not know how to be a gentleman, does not he cannot pull out chairs for you and open doors for you, he is just not in that date mood yet.
I will tell you my own situation with the man who happens to be the man of my dreams now. I am madly in love with him, but the second time we are getting together, he asked me down to his condo for dinner on new years eve and he was introduced to me through friends and actually kind of through my own dating service. So, I knew him well enough that I thought comfortable going to his condo, but this is only the second time I have been on, on a date with him.
So I get down there and candles were set and lights were dim, he had music playing, nice music playing, and I am thinking wow this is great, this is really romantic, and then the rest of the dinner, the conversation could have been like I was one of the guys, and so I was confuse because the scene is all set, there is all kinds of romance and everything, but nothing, and then it got to be 12:45, 1 o clock in the morning and I figured well I guess should go home.
Now this is New Years Eve and I had parked my car two blocks away in an underground garage, and he knew this. So, when I said. Well I guess I should be going. He stood up and walked me all the fifteenth feet from his living room to the front door and I was stunt, I had to walk downstairs, walk two blocks away at 1 o clock in the morning to an underground garage.
Well, let me tell you, I was not impressed with this man at all. I went home in the next morning, I talked to one of girlfriends, and I cannot believe that this guy was such a jerky, did not even walk me to my car. Well what I found out was that two days later when he decided it was really a date, all the chivalrous gentlemanly conduct came out, he walked me to my car, he opened the door for me, he ordered the fine bottle of wine, and he paid for everything. He just was not in date mood yet. To him, if you ask him today that was just an interesting dinner with a person who happened to be a female that was not a date.
So, he was not in date mood, so he did not walked me to my car. When he finally decided that it was a date, he would not have even dreamed of not walking me to my car. So you see, we have to get the man into date mood, and once they are there you will be amazed, they can pull out all the stops and they can turn into complete total gentleman.
So, do not make assumption, this guy is a jerk and a creep and not a gentleman and does not have a clue how to act just because may be he has not picked up the bill or has not walked you to your car. If he is not in date mood yet, you need to get him to date mood.