What is the third key value for compatibility?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 14,325
    Relationship expert Gloria MacDonald discusses the third key value for compatibility in a relationship – flexibility.

    Gloria MacDonald

    Gloria MacDonald is the founder and President of Perfect Partners, The Personal Relationship Executive Search Firm, a highly successful, personalized matchmaking service. Gloria has interviewed hundreds and hundreds of single men and women and has introduced over 1500 couples. She is an expert in the field of dating and relationships, having appeared on a variety of TV and radio shows. She’s the co-author of the highly acclaimed book Laws of the Jungle: Dating for Women Over 40. She believes, and has seen through her work, that there is a perfect partner for anyone of us who truly desires to find that relationship, believes they can have it, and are willing to accept it. Gloria is an engaging and dynamic speaker and trainer who changes lives. Testimonials from people who have attended Gloria’s seminars: “Gloria uses her exceptional knowledge of real world dating and her unique and exciting style to inspire women to not give up. Truly a wonderful presenter. I would highly recommend anything she does now and in the future.” “This is the information single women and men have been waiting for.” “A truly engaging seminar. You are obviously an expert on the topic. Your knowledge, compassion, sensitivity and forthrightness was spiced with humour to create a clean and practical approach to relationship success.” “Attending your seminar has truly been an inspiration. YOU ARE AN AMAZING TRAINER!”

    What is the third key value for compatibility?

    The third trait is what we call flexibility. There are people who just constantly love to try new things whether its new foods, trying out a new restaurant and new experience like maybe, trying skydiving or scuba diving or playing tennis for the first time. These people don t necessarily; they have a flexible sense of timing, so they might always be running five to ten minutes late for a meeting. They don t need to have set-routines and patterns as much as another person.

    The person who we say is lower on the level of flexibility is someone who does really like routine. They like patterns in their lives; they feel more comfortable having a format to their life. It makes them feel more orderly that things are under control and that life is easier. Those people that are lower on the flexibility scale don t necessarily like to be out there trying new restaurants all the time or traveling to some new place in the world or constantly trying out new foods. They have their favorite foods and they love their favorite foods.

    So, again, you can see where the person who is low on the need for flexibility and the person who is high on the need for flexibility can drive one another crazy over the course of a lifetime together. Let me give you an example, let us say, you are going on a holiday and you are going to Europe. The person who is high on flexibility is going to be perfectly comfortable saying, Okay, we are landing in Rome on such and such a day, and knowing that, we are going to go to Rome, we are going to go to Florence, we are going to go to Venice, we might go to Milan and they don t need to know every hotel they are going to go to, every art gallery, every museum, every church. They don t need to have a plan for each day. They are perfectly comfortable. In fact, it gives them energy to experience the joys of life and what might just happen spontaneously. So, these people are high on spontaneity. The person who is low on flexibility, if they are planning that trip to Europe, they need to know, Okay, we are landing in Rome on such and such a day, we are going to spend three nights in Rome and that we have the hotel reservations all booked. On the first day we are going to go to this place and this place and on the second day we are going to see these three galleries and on the third day we are going to visit this and this and this. They probably have researched some restaurants they want to try out also.

    For the person who is quite low on flexibility, if they get there and they are planning to go to a certain art gallery or museum on day two and that art gallery or museum is closed on that day, that is going to be a big challenge and that can cause them an incredible amount of angst and it can throw off their entire day, whereas the person who is high on the need and desire for flexibility is going to say, Oh, great! No problem. Well then, let us go do this. So, the person who is high on flexibility can drive their partner who is low on flexibility absolutely bananas and likewise, the person who is low on flexibility can drive their partner who is high on flexibility bananas because they need to have everything organized and planned and they don t want to deviate from that plan.

    So, the more you can truly understand your partner before you get into that long term committed relationship or marriage, the better.