What is the third trap?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 13,134
    Relationship expert Gloria MacDonald discusses dating and sex, including what the third trap is women fall into when it comes to sex.

    Host: What is the third trap?

    Gloria Macdonald: The third trap we have been falling to is the old friends with benefits. Now, this might seem like a fantastic idea, you have got two people, they know each other, they like each other, they might have been former boyfriend and girlfriend or sometimes even former husband and wife. So, hey, why not have sex? It is better then having sex with a complete and total stranger. That way, you are both fulfilling a need for one another. It sounds great, but the challenge is if we go back to what a woman needs for that chemistry and attractiveness in order to truly have a fulfilling sexual experience, the friends with benefits is missing two key ingredients.

    It is missing the long term potential which just isn't there and it is missing the commitment for a monogamous emotional commitment. So, in absence of that investment from the partner women try to create the investment and the investment is just not there. So, we fool ourselves into believing that maybe, maybe, maybe someday the investment will be there, we fool ourselves into seeing things that we think are potential investment when it is really not truly not there. No matter what we are just wired for this investment and we are looking for it. So, the friends with benefits sounds like a great idea but so often, we fool ourselves and we end up getting emotionally involved even when we are trying to tell ourselves we are not, not the best of ideas.