Wouldn’t it be easier to find a new partner?

    Published: 06-16-2009
    Views: 13,602
    Relationship expert Chris Wright explains if it would be easier to find another partner.

    Chris Wright

    Chris Wright is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.  He sees clients in the Washington, D.C. area and has telephone clients from all over the world.  He also has over 35 years of experience as a trainer and workshop leader in human and organizational development across the U.S. and Canada.   Chris was founder and director of the Human Relations Institute in Houston, Texas.  He was also the Director of PAIRS International -- training psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists in couple’s skills programs.     As an innovator in the field, he has developed a unique blend of tools that increase the effectiveness in relationships -- for couples and in the workplace.  He has Masters Degrees from the University of Arizona and Antioch University in Los Angeles.

    Host: Wouldn t it be easier to find a new partner who doesn t have issues?

    Chris Wright: It might make sense, in a relationship you might think that would be easier to find who doesn t have issues. Good luck, I mean it is human to have issues in our lives and areas where we need to grow. And the success of the relationship doesn t depend on that. I mean, there s many happily married couples, they have issues, they have insecurities but the marriage is very happy and so the success depends not whether you have issues but how you deal with those issues together. How you deal with those tensions together, skills in being able to take responsibility for your issues, your insecurities that show up in the relationship, instead of blaming your partner, instead of projecting them on to your partner. Skills for being able to work through your issues, your differences, your tensions together safely so both persons feel honored in the process. Couples who have those skills tend to do well, couples who don t and the tensions are expressed freely in that relationship, all I could imagine that, that must be very very difficult, and so you would think, well, maybe there is someone out there may the grass is greener in other pasture, but you need to remember this. When you move on to another relationship, you are taking with you, the same inability to work through issues, your same lack of skills to work through issue that showed up in this relationship. You are taking your same insecurities, your same issues that got triggered in this relationship, you are taking that to the next relationship as well.

    Maybe that s why 70% of second marriages end in divorce, I mean that s a warping high figure. That s not good news, and so may be this is the best place now, in the present to gain mastery in these skills, so you can have the relationship you always wanted. No matter what stage of relationship you are in, somebody is single, right now is the time o learn these skillsSo when you meet somebody that you do care about, you will know how to navigate wisely, couples those who are interested in getting married, perfect time to establish the foundation of trust that we know how to work through our issues together. Couples happily married already, well, might be in this video series, that you will see that there s some aspects that would deepen the relationship, we can all grow. Couples who are having a difficult time, you don t have much of an alternative, so this is the time to establish harmony in your relationship now